目錄50個(gè)英語笑話爆笑超短簡單 簡單的英語小笑話 英語搞笑小故事30字笑 關(guān)于學(xué)英語的笑話段子 英語小笑話20字
英語課堂的幽默笑話
幽默笑話是娛樂休閑類的讀物。我整理的英語課堂的幽此畝差默笑話，喜歡的趕緊來看下吧!
英語課堂的幽默笑話1
小明上英文課時(shí)跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明就坐了下來。
過了一會(huì)兒，小明又跟老師說：May I go to the toilet?
老師說：Go ahead.
小明又坐了下來。他旁邊的同學(xué)于是忍不住問：你不是跟老師說要上廁所嗎?怎么不去?
小明說：你沒聽老師說“去你個(gè)頭”啊!
英語課堂的幽默笑話2
某日，小明學(xué)習(xí)耐雀了how to spell it?這一句型。回家后,媽媽看見他手上的玩具表，問道：
媽媽：What’s on your hand?
小明：Watch.
媽媽：How to spell that?
小明：T-H-A-T~
英語課堂的幽默笑話3
某日，老師教小濤，英語中，姓氏可以放在名字后面。小明放學(xué)后碰到一個(gè)外國人，于是他勇敢地上去與外國人對(duì)話。
小明：How are you? My name is HongTao Liu.
外國人：Oh, my god! 我還是方片七呢!
英語課堂的幽默笑話4
一日，小明心情有很好，于是他夸贊英語老師漂亮。
小明：Miss Jiang, you are very beautiful.
老師聽后心花怒放，嘴上還要謙虛一下：“哪里，哪里”。
小明心想：老師的意思就是“Where? Where?"，天哪，還有這樣的人，非要追問哪里漂亮的，干脆馬屁拍到底：
"Everywhere, everywhere."
老師：……
英語課堂的幽默笑話5
小明刻苦學(xué)習(xí)英語，終有小成。一日上街不慎與一老外相撞， 忙說：I am sorry.
老外應(yīng)道：I am sorry too.
小明聽后又道：I am sorry three.
老外不解，問：What are you sorry for?
小明無奈，道：I am sorry five.
英語課堂的幽默笑話6
一日，小明上課打磕睡，于是英語老師向小明提問。
老師：小明，How are you是什么意思?
小明心想：how是怎么，you 是你，于是回答“怎么是你?”
老師很生氣，又問：“那How old are you ?是什么意思?”
小明心想：old是老的，于是回答怎么老森皮是你?”
老師：……
;
簡緩逗短英語笑話9篇
假如你是一個(gè)性格內(nèi)向的人，那你就來看英語笑話吧，時(shí)間長了，你就會(huì)是一個(gè)性格開朗的人。下面由我為您整理的多篇英語笑話，以供您的閱讀。
Now We Run 現(xiàn)在我們跑吧
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"
一個(gè)牧師正沿著街走路，這時(shí)他看到街對(duì)面有個(gè)小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門敬雹鈴。但這個(gè)小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個(gè)小男孩費(fèi)了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優(yōu)雅地穿過馬路，走到小家伙的背后，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎么辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”
We Left Nothing 我們什么也沒留下
Mrs Brown was going out for the day. She
locked the house and tacked a note for the milkman
on the door: "NOBODY HOME. DON’T LEAVE ANYTHING."
When she got back that night, she found her door broken open and her house ransacked. On the note she had left, she found the following message added:
"THANKS! WE HAVEN’T LEFT ANYTHING!"
布朗太太要外出一天。 她鎖好了房門，在門上給送牛奶的人釘了一張便條：“家里沒人，請(qǐng)不要留下任何東西!” 她當(dāng)天晚上回家后發(fā)現(xiàn)房間門被撞開，房子被洗劫一空。在她留給送奶人的便條上，她發(fā)現(xiàn)被補(bǔ)充了一句：“謝謝!我們什么也沒留下!”
你以為你是誰?Who do you think you are?
The bus was crowded, and as one more man tried to get on, the passengers wouldn’t let him aboard.
“It is too crowded, “they shouted.” who do you think you are?”
“I am the driver.” he said.
公共汽車上很擠，當(dāng)又一個(gè)人還是試圖上車時(shí)，乘客們不讓他上。
“車上太擠了，”他們喊道，“你以為你是誰?”
“亮哪帆我是司機(jī)!”他說。
瘋?cè)嗽?The Looney Bin
Late one night at the insane asylum (瘋?cè)嗽?one inmate shouted, "I am Napoleon!”Another one said, "How do you know?"
The first inmate said, "God told me!"
Just then, a voice from another room shouted, "I did not!"
一天晚上，在瘋?cè)嗽豪铮粋€(gè)病人說：“我是拿破侖!”另一個(gè)說：“你怎么知道?”第一個(gè)人說：“上帝對(duì)我說的!”一會(huì)兒，一個(gè)聲音從另一個(gè)房間傳來：“我沒說!”
我要做的一切就是付錢!All I do is pay
"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My
wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,
and my daughter is foreign secretary."
"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your
position?"
"I’m the people. All I do is pay."
布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個(gè)國家一樣。我妻子
是財(cái)政部長。我岳母是作戰(zhàn)部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”
“聽上去挺有意思的'，”他的同事說，“那你的職務(wù)是什么呢?”
“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”
萬能的圣誕老人并非啥都知道
As a little girl climbed onto Santa's lap, Santa asked the usual, "And what would you like for Christmas?"
The child stared at him open mouthed and horrified for a minute, then gasped: "Didn't you get my E-mail?"
一個(gè)女孩爬到圣誕老人的膝蓋上，圣誕老人例行公事的問：“今年圣誕節(jié)你想要什么呢?”
孩子瞪大眼睛驚訝的望著圣誕老人一分鐘都沒講話，然后喘著氣說到：“你沒收到我的電子郵件嗎?(我想要什么都寫上面了，萬能的圣誕老人咋能不知道捏)”
Psychiatrist 精神病醫(yī)生
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!" Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears." How much do you charge?" A hundred dollars per visit." I'll sleep on it," said Jerry. Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist. For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for $10." "Is that so! How?" He told me to cut the legs off the bed!" Ain't nobody under there now!!!
杰瑞去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次睡覺的時(shí)候，我都感覺有人在床下。我要瘋了!”“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說，“每周來三次，我會(huì)治好你。”“費(fèi)用是多少呢?”“每次一百美元。”“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”杰瑞答道。六個(gè)月后醫(yī)生和杰瑞在街上相遇了，“為什么你再也沒來呢?”醫(yī)生問。“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”“真的?他怎么做到的?”“他讓我把床腿鋸掉。現(xiàn)在那沒人了!”
喂狗 For the Dog
The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.
"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"
"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"
一家人在飯館里吃過晚飯，父親把服務(wù)生叫了過來。
”先生，什么事?“服務(wù)生問。
”我兒子的盤子里剩下許多肉，“父親說，”能給我們一個(gè)袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“
”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動(dòng)地叫喊著。”咱家養(yǎng)狗了嗎?“
腦移植 A Brain Transplant
The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.
"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."
The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.
The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."
一個(gè)外科醫(yī)生正要作一個(gè)腦移植手術(shù)。
“你可以從兩個(gè)腦子中選一個(gè)給你。”醫(yī)生告訴病人，“一個(gè)心理學(xué)家的大腦1000美元，一個(gè)政治家的大腦10000美元。
病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。
醫(yī)生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”
;1、Boy:Isthisseatempty?Girl:Yesandthisonewillbeifyousitdown.男孩：這個(gè)座位是空的么？女孩：是的，如果你坐下，我的座位也將是空的。
2、Boy:CanIbuyyouadrink?Girl:ActuallyI'dratherhavethemoney.男孩：我可以給你買杯飲賣纖料嗎？女孩：你不如直接把錢給我得了。
3、Mylittledogcan'treadMrs.Brown:Oh,mydear,Ihavelostmypreciouslittledog!Mrs.Smith:Butyoumustputanadvertisementinthepapers!Mrs.Brown:It'snouse,mylittledogcan'tread.
我的狗不識(shí)字。布朗夫人：哦，親愛的，我把珍愛的小狗給丟了！史密斯夫人：可是你該在報(bào)紙上登廣告啊！布朗夫人：沒有用的，我的小狗不認(rèn)識(shí)字。”
4、MyWifeWillExchangeThem。Agentlemanwalksintoastoreandaskedforapairofgloves.″Clothorleather﹖″askedthesalesperson.″Makesnodifference″repliedcustomer.″Whatcolor﹖″askedtheclerk.″Any″heresponded.
″Size﹖″″Givemewhateveryouprefer″thegentlemansaidslightlyexasperated.″Mywifewillbebacktomorrowtoexchangethem.″
反正我太太明天念枯會(huì)來換的。一位先生走進(jìn)一家商店要買副手套。“您是要布的還是皮的？”售貨員問。“沒什么區(qū)別。”這位中高仿顧客回答。“那您要什么顏色的呢？”售貨員又問。“什么顏色都成。”他回答。“號(hào)碼呢？”“您就隨便給我拿一副吧，”這位顧客有點(diǎn)不耐煩了，“反正我太太明天都會(huì)來換的。”
5、AphysicsExamination，Onceinaphysicsexamination,Nickfinishedthefirstquestionverysoon,whilehisclassmateswerethinkingithard.Thequestionwas:Whenitthunderswhydoweseethelightingfirst,thenhearthethunderrolls?
Nick‘sanswer:Becauseoureyesarebeforeears.
一次物理考試。在一次物理考試時(shí)，當(dāng)同學(xué)們都還在苦思冥想時(shí)，尼克很快就答好了第一個(gè)問題。這個(gè)問題是：為什么在打雷時(shí)，我們總是先看到閃電后聽到雷聲？尼克的回答是：因?yàn)檠劬υ谇埃湓诤蟆?/p>
6、Jim’sHistoryExamination。Uncle:HowdidJimdoinhishistoryexamination?Mother:Oh,notatallwell,butthere,itwasn'thisfault.Theyaskedhimthingsthathappenedbeforethepoorboywasborn.
吉姆的歷史考試。舅舅：吉姆這孩子歷史考得怎么樣？母親：唉，糟透了。可話又說回來，這也不能怪他。嗨，他們盡問一些這個(gè)可憐的孩子出生前的事兒。
7、heisreallysomebody。--Myunclehas1000menunderhim.--Heisreallysomebody.Whatdoeshedo?--Amaintenancemaninacemetery.
他真是一個(gè)大人物。--我叔叔下面有1000個(gè)人。--他真是一個(gè)大人物。干什么的？--墓地守墓人。
擴(kuò)展資料：
笑話具有篇幅短小，故事情節(jié)簡單而巧妙，往往出人意料，給人突然之間笑神來了的奇妙感覺的特點(diǎn)。大多揭示生活中乖謬的現(xiàn)象，具有諷刺性和娛樂性。其趣味有高下之分。
人類歷史上，人自從有了語言，就已經(jīng)出現(xiàn)了開玩笑的語言，最早，人們以口相傳，后來有了文字，許多笑話便被記載下來，編書成冊(cè)。但還有很多笑話，是流傳于民間的，就當(dāng)今社會(huì)，每天都有很多笑話出現(xiàn)，有心人如果收集，我想將來一定會(huì)有價(jià)值。
同時(shí)豐富了笑話的寶庫。隨著近十年網(wǎng)絡(luò)和手機(jī)的飛速發(fā)展，隨之出現(xiàn)了網(wǎng)絡(luò)笑話，網(wǎng)絡(luò)流行語，給力大全，手機(jī)笑話，雷人語句，笑料聯(lián)盟等，促使笑話發(fā)展到一個(gè)新的階段。
參考資料：：笑話
1)TOM'S EXCUSE
Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, "School-Go
Slow".
湯姆的借口
老師：湯姆，您為什么銀兄每天上學(xué)遲到？
湯姆：我每次路過拐角，一個(gè)路標(biāo)上面寫著："學(xué)校----慢行。"
DID YOUR DAD...
2)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對(duì)著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).
3)Tom call Jim's name:"I can't bear such a foolish!"
and Jim say:"You mother could (bear)!"
湯姆對(duì)著吉姆罵道:"我受不了你這個(gè)苯蛋了!"
吉姆說:"你媽媽能!"灶晌
附:bear 有兩重意思:"生"和"忍受"這個(gè)笑話正是根據(jù)這點(diǎn).
4)A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進(jìn)入教堂和上帝對(duì)話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對(duì)你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鐘."最后男子請(qǐng)求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鐘."
5)Mother sent Tommy to the store across the street to buy a good box of matches.When Tommy came back,mother asked him,”Did you buy a good box of matches?”
“Yes,Mum.”Tommy replied,”I have tried them all.”
一盒小火柴
媽媽讓湯米去馬路對(duì)面鋒辯襲的商店里買一盒好用的火柴。湯米回來后，媽媽問他，“你買的是好用的火柴嗎？”
“是的，媽媽。”湯米回答，“我把它們都試過了。”
6)Father:Uh,oh,I think I just made an illegal right-hand turn.
Susie:That is okay ,dad,the policeman behind you just did the same thing!
開車
父親：哎呀，我剛才違規(guī)右轉(zhuǎn)彎了。
蘇西：沒事，爸，跟在你后面的警察也這么轉(zhuǎn)了。
7)Little Robert asked his mother for tow cents.”What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?”
“I gave it to a poor old woman,”he answered.
“You’er a good boy,”said the mother proudly.”Here are tow cents more.But why are you so interested in the old woman?”
“She is the one who sells the candy.”
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
“昨天給你的錢干什么了？”
“我給了一個(gè)可憐的老太婆。”他回答說。“你真是一個(gè)好孩子，”媽媽驕傲地說. “再給你兩分錢。可你為什么對(duì)那位老太太那么感興趣呢？”
“她是個(gè)賣糖果的。”
8)Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked,”What happened?”
“A kid bit me,”replied Ivan.
“Would you recognize him if you sew him again?”asked his mother.
“I’d know him any where,”said Ivan.”I have his ear in my pocket.”
他的耳朵在我的衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家里。他媽媽問，“發(fā)生了什么事？”
“一個(gè)男孩咬了我一口。”伊凡說。
“再見到他你能認(rèn)出來嗎？”媽媽問。
“他走到哪里我都能認(rèn)出他，”伊凡說，“他的耳朵還在我的衣兜里。”
9)Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which?
Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer.
Teacher: Please tell us.
Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow.
兩只鳥
老師： 這兒有兩只鳥，一只是麻雀。誰能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀嗎？
學(xué)生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老師：請(qǐng)看。
學(xué)生：燕子旁邊的就是麻雀，麻雀旁邊的就是燕子。
近些年,冷笑話作為一種特殊的幽默方式在互聯(lián)網(wǎng)、電視節(jié)目、書籍雜志上廣泛流傳。我精心收集了英語笑話大全帶翻譯，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
英語笑話大全帶翻譯：The amazing golf ball
神奇的高爾夫球
A golfer, playing a round by himself, is about to tee off, and a greasy little salesman runs up to him, and yells, "Wait! Before you tee off, I have something really amazing to show you!"
一個(gè)高爾夫球手正要發(fā)球，跑上來一個(gè)無限諂媚的小個(gè)子推銷員，喊到：“ 等一下。在您發(fā)球前，我請(qǐng)您看一樣超神奇的東西。”
The golfer, annoyed, says, "What is it?"
高爾夫球手頗感被打攪，說道：“什么東西啊?”
"It's a special golf ball," says the salesman. "You can never lose it!"
“是一個(gè)很特別的高爾夫球 - 一個(gè)永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)被弄丟的球!”
"you can never lose it"，scoffs the golfer, "What if you hit it into the water?
“永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)丟的球”，高爾夫球手嘲諷地說，“如果球被打到水里呢?”
"No problem," says the salesman. "It floats, and it detects where the shore is, and spins towards it."
“沒問題。它能漂起來，還能探測(cè)到哪里是岸，然后自己就能轉(zhuǎn)到岸邊。”
"Well, what if you hit it into the woods?"
“那么如果掉到樹叢里呢?”
"Easy," says the salesman. "It emits a beeping sound, and you can find it with your eyes closed."
“簡單。它能發(fā)出嘟嘟聲，這樣你就能循聲而至了。”
"Okay," says the golfer, impressed. "But what if your round goes late and it gets dark?"
孫源枝“那如果天黑了怎么找它呢?”
"No problem, sir, this golf ball glows in the dark! I'm telling you, you can never lose this golf ball!"
“球會(huì)在黑暗中裂饑發(fā)光啊!一句話，則敏你永遠(yuǎn)不會(huì)找不到這個(gè)球。”
The golfer buys it at once. "Just one question," he says to the salesman. "Where did you get it?"
高爾夫球手當(dāng)即買下這個(gè)球，隨口問了一句：“你從哪搞到它的?”
"I found it."
“是我撿到的啦!”
英語笑話大全帶翻譯：這是我的位子
It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a windowseat.
一位女士頭一回坐飛機(jī)。她登機(jī)后發(fā)現(xiàn)自己的座位僅靠窗子。
After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored himand told him to go away.
她坐好后，一位男士走過來堅(jiān)持說她坐了他的位子。這位女士根本不聽，只告訴他走開。
"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."
“好吧，”男士回答道。“如果你真想這樣，你來開飛機(jī)吧。”
英語笑話大全帶翻譯：許愿也要小心
A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th birthdays, which fell onthe same day.
一對(duì)夫婦結(jié)婚已經(jīng)25年了，正在一起慶祝他們的結(jié)婚紀(jì)念日和60歲生日。
During the celebration a fairy appeared and said that because they had been such a lovingcouple for all 25 years, she would give them one wish each.
正慶祝時(shí)，一位仙女從天而降說25年來他們一直相親相愛，她將實(shí)現(xiàn)他們每個(gè)人一個(gè)愿望。
The wife wanted to travel around the world. The fairy waved her hand, and Boom! She had thetickets in her hand.
妻子說想環(huán)游世界。仙女握住了她的手，只聽轟的一聲。妻子手中出現(xiàn)了各種入場券和票。
Next, it was the husband's turn. He paused for a moment, then said shyly, "Well, I'd like tohave a woman 30 years younger than me."
接著就該丈夫許愿了。他頓了一下，然后不好意思地說：“嗯，我想要一個(gè)比我年輕30歲的妻子。”
The fairy picked up her wand, and Boom! He was ninety.
仙女拿起魔杖，只聽轟的一聲!丈夫變成90歲的老翁了。
英語笑話大全帶翻譯：用金錢來表達(dá)
Boy:Honey,my love of you is beyond expression.
小伙子:親愛的,我對(duì)你的愛,簡直無法用語言來表達(dá).
Girl:Then you can use money to express it.
姑娘:那你就用金錢來表達(dá)吧!
